My Dearest Umaiyal, Sid and Pugazh,
As I sit down to write this, I find myself reflecting on the lessons life has taught me—some learned early, some learned far too late, but all shaping the person I am today. I want to share with you one of these lessons, hoping it will be a guiding light as you navigate your own journey.
Putting my learnings together, I figured out something which I'd call proudly "The Formula for a Successful Life." It goes like this:
D = -3D
On one side of this equation, we have D – which stands for Desire, Dream, or Destiny. These are the things that give our lives purpose, direction, and meaning. On the other side, we have the "-3D": Distraction, Deception, and Delusion. These are the forces that can quietly but surely pull us away from our path if we let them.
Let me explain.
Distraction
சென்ற இடத்தால் செலவிடா தீது ஒரீஇ நன்றின்பால் உய்ப்பது அறிவு (௪௱௨௰௨ - 422) - Wisdom checks the wandering mind And pulls it from ill to good -Thirukkural
The first and perhaps most dangerous step in a collapsing life. It often starts small, barely noticeable—a fleeting moment of inattention, an indulgence in something trivial. But over time, these distractions can snowball, robbing us of focus and clarity. And here’s the thing: only we have the power to allow or deny distractions. If we let them take root, they create fertile ground for the second "D":
Deception
நெஞ்சின் துறவார் துறந்தார்போல் வஞ்சித்து வாழ்வாரின் வன்கணார் இல் (௨௱௭௰௬ - 276) None so cruel as the posing ascetic Who lives by deceit without renouncing by heart - Thirukkural
When we lose awareness, we become vulnerable to deception—not just from others but from ourselves. We might believe lies about who we are, what we’re capable of, or what we truly want. This can lead us down paths that are not ours to walk, chasing illusions instead of truths. And if unchecked, this brings us to the final "D":
Delusion
பொருளல்ல வற்றைப் பொருளென்று உணரும்மருளானாம் மாணாப் பிறப்பு. (௩௱௫௰௧ - 351) The misery of birth arises out of the delusion Which takes the unreal for the Real - Thirukkural
Delusion is a state where false beliefs take hold—about the world, about others, and most heartbreakingly, about ourselves. It can lead to low self-esteem, confusion, and a life that feels unfulfilled and disconnected from its true potential.
Umaiyal, Sid and Pugazh, I wish I had understood the silent power of distraction earlier in my life. It may seem insignificant in the moment, but it has the potential to derail even the brightest dreams and the most steadfast desires. That’s why I’m sharing this with you now: to help you recognize distraction for what it is and to remind you that by fixing it, you can fix so much more.
Stay vigilant, my dear children. Protect your dreams fiercely. Be mindful of where your attention goes because where your attention goes, your energy flows. The world will try to pull you in a thousand directions, but remember: you hold the compass. Keep your focus, and you’ll find your way to your true destiny.
Remember, delusion cuts both ways. You can deceive yourself into thinking you don’t know enough, driven by a lack of confidence, or falsely believe you know everything, a symptom of overconfidence. Both are distortions of reality that hinder growth and clarity.
I believe in you, my children, with all my heart. You are stronger, wiser, and more capable than you realize. Whenever you feel lost or unsure, come back to this formula. Use it as a tool to recalibrate, to realign with your purpose.
With all my love and faith in you,
Appa
P.S.: Not to confuse you, these 3Ds could be for good too; You just have to develop the ability to recognize them. As a parent, I must confess that I use Distraction and Deception a lot to make you do good things as well. When you're too absorbed into cartoons, I distract you with playful acts and dancing; when you refuse to eat vegetables, I cleverly deceive you to believe that they are your favorite fruit or sweet and make you have them. And delusion is a given, being born into this chaotic but happening world - the process and purpose of life is to chisel it out with education; learn to grow and evolve, each passing day. Someday soon in life, you will chuckle reading this. XOXO.
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